The Pillar of Male Dating
by Kimyo ryu
Summary: While finding who was worthy enough to share in his greatness there was one thing Black*Star had forgotten to take into account: Never date someone taller then you. Hinted Black*Star/Death the Kidd, rated for hinted smex
1. BlackStar the Great

First Soul Eater fanfic, Please review if you like it ^.^

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Black*Star was a man (boy really…) who needed no introduction but never hesitated at a chance to give one.

_"I am the famous Black*Star! I will be above god someday! In fact, I am almost there! Don't be sorry, you mediocre nobody! I'm just too awesome! You'll all see my angel halo very soon!"_

So of course it is no surprise someone as awesome, someone as downright amazing, as the God-surpassing Black*Star would be able to wield the dark blade Tsubaki. So surely, 100% without a doubt the students of Shibusen, slash that the students and faculty, no wait slash that too;- _THE PEOPLE OF THE WORLD _must be blind. No…. they must be blind, deaf and been living under a rock for the last 50 years (aren't you starting to exaggerate now..?) to have not heard of the one, the only, the greatest assassin and ninja in this; or possibly any other, world- Black*Star-sama!!

He-hem, perhaps we're getting off track. The point is, somehow, the very envy of god, Black*Star had been in Shibusen for almost one year and he has still yet to get a "_significant other_"; someone as amazing as him was not cruel enough to deny half the world a chance to be with his greatness.

Perhaps he was just too great….

But! None-the-less that did not fix this wrong doing! He had even spent almost three months making lists! The first of them being those would deny right away, he would not even play or flirt with those poor souls. After all, he was a god, sharing his greatness, not some desperate whore.

Then there were those he would take out once in a while, even give the chance to be with him; Soul's friend Blair being one of the newest admissions.

And then there was his most exclusive list, more exclusive then the VIP list for the viper room, those worthy enough to be his official "_significant other". _Some of the many qualifications are that they must, of course, be beautiful, almost as well known as himself, and able to recognize his greatness.

… That list was soon revised for... lack of… candidates…

The _new _list had a record of almost 5 members. Truly lucky souls.

But soon after completing that list he had an amazing "breakthrough" (he overheard older boy's talking) that shook his list to its very core! _Never date a girl taller then you._

And truly this was a code to live by, for the great Black*Star could never live in someone's shadow!

So after nearly six months, (and several head-meet-table moments) the great Black*Star realized that even though he was the biggest man in Shibusen… he… he wasnotthetallest! In fact… after taking in account of the pillar of the man code, and weeding out those that would endanger him with the law (and his bro Soul) his list was left with only person on it… someone perhaps almost as well known as himself… Shinigami-sama's own flesh (?) and blood (?).

Shibusen's own princess; Death the Kid.

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Chapter 2 should be up soon.


	2. Death the Echi

Someone as great as Black*Star should never have to work so hard to get a "_signif-_" well perhaps we should say "boyfriend" now. But how someone (something?) as carefree as Shinigami-sama could… could father the world's most anal (something he would find more amusing in his better days) child. Truly someone as awesome as him should not have to live with this kind of torture. Everything he did was _unsymmetrical_ to that little debutant.

And after he had the nerve to make him lug his ass around while looking for Excalibur.

Though truthfully… if Kid was more aware of his greatness (and if not for that fool Excalibur himself) that situation had the possibility of being very… echi.

Kid would be sitting so delicately on the pillars outside the cave, sitting on his knees, back arched and that cute butt jutting outwards. And he would say "Please Black Star-sama (heart), you have to help me I'm so scared." He would use one of his hands to try and hide the cute pout and fight to hold back anymore tears from welling up in his eyes.

And of course it would be his job as hero to comfort him. "No need to be upset Kid-chan. I the great Black*Star am here. Only a fool would ever dream of hurting you with me around." And he would then take Kid's other arm and pull him into his chest as Kid tried to hide his blushing face. Then like all great heroes he would seal his promise with a kiss on the held hand.

But of course since this was an echi (daydream) and not some shojo, Death the Kid would plant both his hands on Black*Star's chest and say like an embarrassed moe virgin. "Black*Star-sama, forget about Excalibur, I'm more worried about getting a much bigger _sword_." The as if it was his porno que Death the Kid would use both hands to tease Black*Star's half hard member and would attempt to remove his tonsils with his own tongue. And like in all good echi-BAM!

All brain functions stopping… Vision gone… Head bleeding…

When his brain finally began processing again he saw Professor Stain stan-er sitting in front of the class staring at him… … and a text book logged into his very own cranium.

"Black Star, if you're going to sleep in my class you should learn how not to snore. Or at the very least not cover my text books in slobber." The whole room broke out into laughter (except Tsubaki, she had become usted to this).

In that moment Black*Star was glad Death the Kid was not here to see him like this.

…Not that he cared what that little debutant thought of him or anything….

____

Just a little thing I could find a place for:

Black*Star hated the way he said his name. Always _Black Star _instead of _Black*Star_, it was like massacure of his character. It would be like calling the brat… the brat…. DEATH THE BRAT! Yeah… that was a good one. He'd have to write that down.


End file.
